well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
