yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
