well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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