What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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