I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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