The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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