If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize