This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
