He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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