i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
