Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
