i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
