I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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