Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
