i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He has the fingertips of a God
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