She said her name was "party"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize