if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
