she takes plan B like it's going out of style
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
