I hate your face
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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