how can u be prego again
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
