I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
