I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
