He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize