Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
