he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize