So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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