Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
