I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
