...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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