He had one of those small greek statue penises
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
