So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
