Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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