I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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