What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
