am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
