insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
