ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
