Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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