So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize