Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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