Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
