then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
