And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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