three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
