So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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