New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize