I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
