My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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