Well apparently he's into motor boating.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Randomize
