We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize