No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
