is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
