don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
