this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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