...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
