I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
