Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
