i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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