Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
